What’s On
January 21: Brothers Grimm yarn retold with a grin
ONCE upon a time there was a boastful miller who claimed his beautiful daughter could spin gold out of hay. When the king heard of this, er, novel method of quantitative easing he was most intrigued and promptly called for her.
At his palace she was taken into a room full of hay and told to get to work or face execution, this contrary to Article 2 of The Human Rights Act but a most effective motivational technique.
Naturally she didn’t have a clue what to do. Remember we’re talking about a miller’s daughter here with limited educational prospects… not a metallurgist, a biologist, an alchemist nor even one of the fabled merchant bankers (who unlike the alchemists can turn ANYTHING into gold… but only for themselves).
Anyway up popped Ru… – that would have given the game away – this little man who promised to spin the hay into gold in return for her necklace. The next day the king returned to the chamber and was overjoyed to find the room full of gold…
So naturally he took her to a bigger room also full of hay and once again the miller’s daughter was left overnight to work her magic.
And once again the wizened creature made an appearance and agreed to spin the hay into gold in exchange for her ring… which she duly handed over (no doubt mumbling something about sentimental value).
Next morning the king arrived and duly showed his appreciation of this latest money spinner (geddit?) by showing her into a third even larger chamber – that too filled with hay.
That night the manikin (fantastic word) crept into the room and once again offered his services. Alas, the miller’s daughter, living in the days before bling had become fashionable among the young, had no more jewellery to offer him (of course had bling been in fashion she could have kept him there for a month of Sundays… but them were the times).
Unperturbed by this lack of baubles, the creature asked for her first born in return for him using his magical ability. With social services short on the ground, and a clear lack of anything resembling a legislature in the kingdom she agreed, and he set to work.
When the king arrived the next day he was giddy – and told her she was to be his Queen. Which, despite the fact he was a near homicidal maniac, or at the very least a potential abusive husband, she accepted – it was, she figured, a step up from being the girl of a pathological liar who was happy to put his daughter’s life at risk for two minutes of dubious fame…
Being a flighty young thing she forgot all about her oath to the creature and when the sprog dropped he reappeared, demanding she hand the child over. Instead of mentioning this to her husband – a bit like the pyramid scheme she was also embroiled in – she begged to be given a second chance. For reasons best known to Rum… the dwarf… he agreed, but only if she could guess his name.
Thankful for the chance she went wandering in the woods and while there came across a little clearing. There, the short little monster was busy singing “I’m Rumpelstiltskin… I am… I am…” Now this might be cheating but, as we’ve seen, she wasn’t averse to changing the rules when it suited. And when he paid her a visit after three days she guessed it straight away.
So angry was Rumpelstilitskin that he smashed his foot on the ground soooo hard that the Earth swallowed him up and he was never seen or heard of again.
Until now that is… He’s back… he’s bigger and he’s very angry.
Welcome then – at last after a very long intro – to Miracle Theatre’s The Revenge of Rumpelstiltskin. Described by the Independent on Sunday as “an alternative to the usual slipperless dames and boys who never grow up, It follows a bickering troupe of Georgian players – at the birth of pantomime – as they try to recount the sequel to the Brothers Grimm fairy tale.
Full of joyful comedy, music and high paced action this should be a magical delight for all the family. No one is quite what they seem, there’s a scary fairy, a handsome prince who proves he cannot be trusted with scissors, and a mechanical swan or two.
Promising the inventiveness of a Disney classic with the joys of the birth of pantomime this is an evening for all the family aged six plus.
The Carn said: “It was a fantastic piece of theatre, turning an old fairytale into a brand new pantomime with twists and turns all along the way. I would definitely rate the performance among some of the best that I have seen.”
While The Stage judged: “Miracle Theatre’s eclectic and ingenious pantomime is great fun.”
The Revenge of Rumplestiltskin is at Bridport Arts Centre, South Street, on Thursday 21 January at 7.30pm. Box office: 01308 424204. Tickets priced £8 children and concs; £12 adults, £10 Supporters and £30 family saver.